May God intervene. May God save me from my suicidal actions, from the decisions that I make that seem to be so deadly against my life which kills any success that I may have in life, any good that I may receive from the Lord, I sabotage by my actions. Like the scripture plainly says “Your wrongdoings have kept these away; your sins have deprived you of good.” Jeremiah 5:25; New International Version.
It’s like I forfeit the blessings that are coming my way by committing folly after folly, sin after sin, before Your eyes, and destroy all the hope that I would receive otherwise. Again, may God forgive me for such stupidity, the constant, consistent asinine decisions that I seem to make on a daily basis. May the Lord have mercy upon me and erase all my evil deeds before Your sight. Give me a fresh start, wash me thoroughly and make me clean that I may appear righteous before You, without spot, wrinkle or blemish. In Jesus name, I pray and ask this blessing and Your mercy and Your grace upon my life.
In Jesus Christ’s holy name, I pray and give thanks unto You. Amen.
Almighty God, I come before your throne giving You thanks and praise Holy One of heaven, for all Your goodness, for all Your faithfulness, for all Your love and your mercy. Truly I don’t deserve what is given me. I have been a fool from birth. My ways have been rebellious and ignorant since time began; I don’t know why I do what I do, the sins that I commit against You. I know the wrong that I do great God of heaven. I can see my sin, as David says, “they are ever before me.” But I’m a lot worse than King David. Although if I can ever claim to be King David I would feel so much better.
The decisions I make are so asinine, they seem to me to be suicidal. I not talking about dying, I'm not talking about killing myself. I'm simply saying that they are so stupid that they put my life in jeopardy. It’s like I purposely put my life in jeopardy as if to commit suicide. Certainly that’s not I want. I don’t consider myself a weak minded person where I am so vulnerable as to kill myself. I love myself. I feel I’m just the opposite. I don’t feel the humility in that way where I want to erase my life from the earth.
I love myself too much to do such a thing. I'm in love with myself, that’s the problem. I love myself so much I followed my own ways instead of Yours. Instead of loving You more than myself and following your perfect supreme way, the way of righteousness, I go the way of Chuck because I'm in love with him. And I follow his heart and his desires and his wicked way of thinking. And therefore I commit suicide against the righteous way of God and live instead the warped, wicked way of Chuck.
